Posted on | November 25, 2008 | 2 Comments
I live in an apartment. My apartment building is small. My apartment building is also close to other residential buildings. The owners of these buildings employ gardeners to maintain the landscaping. These gardeners use leaf blowers. Leaf blowers are loud.
Normally I might just whine a bit and then try to go back to sleep after being woken up by one of these monstrously loud contraptions, but this morning after it happened again I remembered that I have a blog and now I can share my idea to start a petition to ban leaf blowers worldwide.
What the hell is the point of a leaf blower? It’s supposed to move leaves, dirt and other debris out of certain areas and into others, but it really sucks (or blows, if you wanna throw in a pun) at doing so. How do I know?
1) Because the gardener spends about 20 minutes using the thing to clear less than 2,000 square feet of courtyard and walkway, and makes several passes in order to attempt to do so.
2) Because several times I have walked around the “grounds” of my small apartment building after the weekly assault on our eardrums and noticed *gasp* leaves, dirt and debris still intact in several places.
Here’s how a leaf blower works: a very loud gas-powered motor strapped to your back propels a variable-speed fan (the faster the speed, the faster the motor, the louder it gets) through a plastic tube not unlike a vacuum cleaner that spits fast-moving air at stuff on the ground and sends it flying. The idea is that it’s supposed to move it along the ground and out of the way, but what really happens is a large amount of it ends up in the air (which happens to really suck for allergy sufferers) and then back onto the ground about 20 seconds later. So you either double back and hit it again, or forget about it and chalk it up as collateral damage.
<--------- Or perhaps one of these?
Since when is it sooooo hard to use a damn broom? Seriously, let’s get some scientists and physicists together, because I swear that a damn broom is a lot more efficient and effective than a leaf blower. Not only does it clean better, kick up less dirt and debris into the air, and work faster and more controlled, it doesn’t run on gas and it’s quiet!
You’d think that gardening companies would want to cut down on costs and not have to buy gas, but I guess they ran the numbers and figured that doing fast, sloppy work with the leaf blower makes it possible to take care of more clients in one day… or some crap like that… Nope, I’m sticking with complete laziness. Oh, and stupidity.
I don’t even have to get into the whole “green” issue and environmental concerns — I guess it’s warranted in order to allow a lazy dude to stand there and point a hose while his job of cleaning up the ground is done poorly by a wasteful and obnoxious travesty of an invention.
So if you feel like signing my petition to ban leaf blowers, let me know. I think Obama will put it high on the priority list along with the economy and Iraq and stuff.
Next time I’ll rant about the other gardener gem: watering the concrete ground.